Thirteen Days, Thirteen Ways
by Blue-sama
Summary: When they aren't plotting whatever they are, the Organization is destorying itself from the inside out. Wheither it's doing the laundry or going to Disneyland, they just can't seem to be a team. And will Superior ever join them?
1. Day 1: Laundry Day

_A/N: Okay! Welcome to another fanfiction! This one is Kingdom Hearts, because well...I haven't found another obsession yet(I'm looking, though!). So, anyways, I don't remember where the inspiration for this came from. My serious romantic juice ran out for the day, and so I started on some very random thought I had. So blame my mind, and my friend for encouraging me._

_Alright. I'm planning on having thirteen chapter wheither anyone reviews or not. Why? Oh, I don't know, take a wild guess. Come on...use the brain you were blessed with by the Flying Spaghetti Monster(inside joke). Okay...I might stretch out 'days', 'cause I don't like super long chapters._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts nor any of its characters. I'm way too lazy to come up with anything similar.**

**Rating: T for language, and whatever else I feel like adding later on.**

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**Thirteen Days, Thirteen Ways**  
Day 1: Laundry Day

The day was Wednesday, the worst day of the week. From the moment Marluxia opened his eyes, he knew it wasn't going to be good. Wednesday was a Nothing day, and yet it wasn't. For two weeks now, those bastards Axel and Demyx has declared it Laundry Day. So, ever so slowly, he sat up, his eyes immediately going to the corner of the room. Damn! He was too late! The fiends had already broken in and stolen the goods!

He leapt from the bed, and rushed to his closet, thrusting it open. No! They had struck here, too! But upon further inspection, he found something. Something that _terrified_ him. Attached to one of his hangers was a note. Quickly snatching it, he sped through it, gritting his teeth.

_"Happy Laundry Day, Marluxia! Hope you enjoy your fresh clean clothes!" --- Axel and Demyx_

No! Those fools! Marluxia _liked_ wearing dirty clothes. He loved the smell of dirt and sweat after three weeks straight. It was like heaven! He slithered under his bed, pulling out the one Organization cloak the idiots didn't manage to steal. But sickeningly, it was only _two_ days dirty. Today _really_ sucked.

-----------

The birds tweeted, and the sun slowly leaked into the room, spilling across the boy's face. He groaned, and covered his face with his think blanket. Why did morning have to come so soon? He liked the dream he was having. Shoving various items down Demyx's throat was always a good thing. This time it was potatoes. Rotten hot-pink potatoes.

But he couldn't stay in bed all day. The blonde had promised to help his best friend prank people. Mostly Zexion. They _would_ prove he was really a girl!

So the youngest and self-proclaimed cutest member of the Organization stretched, before clambering out of his hammock. To be cool, he didn't have a bed, but a hammock. But, sadly, it turned out just to be a pain. Especially when Axel snuck in in the middle of the night and twisted it _and_ him all up.

But breakfast was soon, so he couldn't complain. Wednesday. That meant Lexaeus would be cooking. He liked bacon. With grease. _Lots_ of grease. Roxas frowned. He was forgetting something, he knew it. But...that could wait until after breakfast. Now he had to get dressed. Whee, another day of wearing a black cloak. Why was the Superior so fashion-challenged?

The blue-eyed Nobody stumbled to his closet and slowly opened the door. But instead of the two dozen ebony robes haning, only a blank wall with a pink note to it stood. He grabbed it.

_"You've been punk'd--..I mean...Happy Laundry Day, Roxas! Soon you'll be enjoying your fresh clean clothes!" --- Axel and Demyx._

Just the fact that it was Laundry Day didn't bother the Nobody. Hell, this meant he didn't have to do it himself. But...they didn't leave him anything to wear. All he had was the thin white shirt and boxer shorts with flaming ponies on them he was wearing. They didn't expect him to to go out like this, did they?

"Curse you, Axel! Curse you, Demyx! I will have my revenge!...After breakfast, of course."

-----------

"Hey, Axel? Do ya think anyone'll be mad at us? We didn't leave any of them clothes, after all," Demyx frowned, before leaping face-first into a pile of Larxene's robes.

"Nah, 'course not! We're doing them a favor!" Axel grinned, taking Xigbar's pile and stuffing it into one of the washers, "By the way, you wanna go get some breakfast? We'll need it if we're working all day. And maybe some music, too!"

"Oh, oh! I'll go get my Backstreet Boys CD!" the blonde grinned, racing for the door. But, before he reached the door handle, a wall of fire burst out of thin air.

"No. Way," Axel said, his voice dangerously low, "You are going to my room and getting my Kelly Clarkson CD.."

"That whore? No! Backstreet Boys!" Demyx growled, pulling out his sitar, "I'm not a fighter, but I will not listen to such a-"

"HER NAME'S KELLY CLARKSON!" Axel shouted, throwing one of his chakrams.

"BACKSTREET BOYS!"

"KELLY CLARKSON!"

--------

Namine beamed, and skipped down the hall. Today was going to be a great day! The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and for once Axel and her crush, Roxas, didn't egg her door!

She continued skipping, before turning around a corner and running into one of the Organization members. She saw a flash of blonde hair, so it was either Larxene, Demyx, Vexen, Luxord, Roxas, and possibly Marluxia.

"Ow...I'm so-" she started, looking up at the other, before her eyed widened. In front of her was her dreamguy, Roxas, complete in boxers.

"Uuuuuhhh...BYE, Namine!" he said, dashing towards the cafeteria.

-Definately a good day,- Namine thought, watching him run away.

-------------------

"Demyx and Axel are _so_ dead--!" Roxas, Marluxia, Larxene, Xigbar, Saix, Xaldin, and Vexen growled in unison, sitting down at the table, glowering. Everyone except Marluxia was in his/her underwear/pajamas. Saix was sporting a particularly interesting pair. It was red with little chu-chu trains. Cute.

Larxene, who always sat next to Marluxia sadly, sniffed the air and blinked. "Is it just me, or does the air smell better?"

"No! It's disgusting!" the pink-haired growled. He shuddered, and pulled his arms from the sleeves of his robes, and soon completely disappearing into the depths of black fabric.

"Ugh, who invented 'Laundry Day' anyways?" Roxas whined, stabbing at his empty plate with a rusted spoon, "Or better yet, who put Axel and Demyx in charge of i!t"

"The vote was unanimous. I counted the ballots myself," Vexen frowned, shaking his head.

"Votes? What votes?" Saix asked, stabbing at a fly buzzing around Larxene's ear.

"Well, we apparently voted on who would be in charge of it," the 'scientist' shrugged, as Larxene screamed, now having a fork in her ear.

"No we didn't...unless..." Xaldin said slowly, before his eyes widened.

But, before anything else could be said, the door burst open, and Demyx hopped in.

"Hello, Cleveland!" he said, getting into a girly pose, "How're y'all doin' tonite?"

No one laughed, or even gave a small chuckle. There was an awkward silence, until they all slowly rose, creepy smiles on all of them. Demyx gulped. Creepy smiled were bad signs. Very bad signs. Soon everyone's weapons were out, and they started slowly advancing on the musician.

"Uh...heh..Did I interrupt something?" he asked, backing away slowly. This was going to hurt.

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A/N: Why end there? Because I can! The rest of Day 1 will come later, because..meh, I can. Uh, hope you enjoyed it, and I would appreciate comments, either good or bad. 


	2. Still Laundry Day

_A/N: Hello, everyone! I just want to thank everyone who reviewed. You guys don't know how happy it makes me to know people besides my best buds love my work(Although I do love that my buds like it!). So...anything else I really want to say? No, not really._

**Disclaimer:...Meeeeeeeh...Check the first chapter.**

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**Thirteen Days, Thirteen Ways.  
Day 1 1/2: Laundry Day**

"Geez, Laxaeus, your clothes are so dirty!" Axel said, grabbing one of the robes before groaning, "Damn, are you stuffing paopu leaves again?"

So he dragged the robe out of the pile, before being flabbergasted by the sight.No, Laxaeus was not stuffing paopu leaves. He was _in_ the robe, looking like he was quite high. And like he had stolen Larxene's makeup and actually tried to put it on. Axel slowly backed away, his eyes wide.

"I...I'm a...a little teapot s-short and stout," the redhead sang, shaking, "H-here is my handle..here is...is my...spout.."

"Dude...that song suuuucks," Laxaeus moaned.

"WHEN YOU TIP ME OVER, HEAR ME SHOUT!" Axel screamed, rushing from the room, "TIP ME OVER AND POUR ME OUT! MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, LITtle lamb, little lamb!' His voice started fading as he ran faster and faster.

Laxaeus yawned, "Okay, whatevah. Time for breakfast!" He wiggled a bit, moving his hand to his zipper. He pulled, but nothing happened. "Wha-?"

He pulled harder, and harder. The blasted zipper wouldn't go down! No! "Help! Someone get me out of my damn clothes!"

-----------

"Now, Demyx, I want a straight answer," Roxas snered, his face close to the fellow blonde's, "What...is my favorite color?"

"Uh, green? N-no blue! Bergandy! WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAAAAAR!" the musician screamed, gnawing on the chains that held him tight.

"...Damn you. Correct," the boy grumbled, stalking away to listen to whiny girl angst music and eat a ten-gallon bucket of ice cream.

"Oh! I got one," Xigbar smirked, "What is the Organization's mascot?"

"Mascot? Since when do we have a mascot?" Xaldin whispered, receiving a girly slap from Saix.

"Our mascot? How dumb can you get? Our mascot's the Invisible Pink Unicorn. Oh, look! There it is now! Go catch it!" Demyx said, rolling his eyes. The group turned, and gasped. Indeed, the pink unicorn was in their sights. What a dream come true! They all cheered, and hastily ran after it.

"Waaaaa! Why did I have to ducktape a pencil to my head then fall down in Demyx's vat of pink frosting!" Axel wailed, now being chased by nine Organization members. It wasn't fair! He had hair! Pretty hair!

"Heeey! Guys! Don't leave me! Come baaack!" Demyx called, squirming. While having being chained and hung over many things, uncluding boiling water, hungry hippos, Xaldin, but never a boiling pot of dark chocolate. He hated dark chocolate. It was like barf, only darker. This was the best, worst, and somewhere in the middlest Laundry Day ever.

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Namine stretched her arms, and walked out of her room. Having earlier forgotten where exactly the cafeteria was, the blonde simply went back to her room and drew suggestive pictures of Roxas. Mostly of him in drag. Because who doesn't want to see their crush in drag?

But now it was lunch. Even an anorexic girl such as herself needed a bit of food. Although she wasn't nearly as slim as the stupid Keyblade Master. He was a freakin' twig!

That was besides the point, though. So she was going to try and find her way to the cafeteria. And hopefully not get lost..again.

"Haven't they ever heard of signs in this place?" she grumbled, passing under a large neon green light that buzzed "Cafeteria that way." Complete with an arrow and eveything.

Namine wandered the halls for a bit, before being knocked down by a pink blur. She just watched in amazement as everyone else besides Demyx, Axel, and Roxas chased the pink..thing, and listened to their battle cries. Axel probably slipped some paopu leaves in everyone's food...again.

"You won't get away, Invisible Pink Unicorn! I've waited my entire life!' Vexen shrieked, flailing his shield around, "Come baaaaaaaaack!"

The others were screaming similar things, acting just as high as Vexen. She almost felt pity for them. Oh well, more food for her! So she skipped down the hall in silence, until she came upon a dreadful sight. No! This couldn't be real..!

------------

Roxas yawned, walking into the cafeteria. He had spend almost the entire day in his room, and now he was hungry. He had heard some sounds like "I will catch you, IPU!" and such, but it was probably just Axel and Demyx playing again. But, he was suprised to see Demyx still hanging from the chain, his eyes sunken in and his face gaunt. It was quite disturbing. Although Namine was in the room, happily poking with him with a stick.

"Freak," he coughed, before walking over to the two, "Uh...Hey, Namine..What's up?"

"Choooooooocolate..." Demyx hissed, snapping at the stick. Namine had frozen upon Roxas, still without decent clothing. Of course, the teenage boy knew absolutely nothing about this crush, being he was a teenager, and a boy.

"H-h-hi, R-R-R-R-Roxas," she stuttered, jabbing Demyx more frantically.

"Stop that," Roxas said, scowling, "It's a good stick."

Namine gasped, before throwing it at him and running off. The stick unfortunately hit Roxas in the head, causing him to fall backwords, grabbing the pot of not-boiling-anymore dark chocolate for support, and making it tip all over him. And for some strange reason, Demyx was magically released from his bonds to ruin his fellow Nobody's lives. Oh teh joy.

So Roxas become covered in chocolate barf, while Demyz whooped and cheered around him, before slinking out of the room, and back towards the laundry room.

"Waaaaait..! Demyx..! Come baaaack! My haaaaaair..!" Roxas whined, before slipping on some chocolate and falling over.

-----------------

"No! We lost her!" Larxene cried, banging her fists against the wall, "I can't believe we let IPU outrun us!"

"Well...she is a goddess," Xigbar said, rolling his eyes. Saix had left earlier, having some soap operas to watch, and Zexion was dragged away by little gnomes that lived under the castle.

"I say we play a few rounds of strip poker," Luxord said, stroking his goatee. This caused an awkward silence; One, because Luxord just suggested to play strip poker, and two,...Weell...because it was Luxord. And he was in a pink bathrobe with penguin slippers.

"I say we order pizza.." Marluxia said, his stomach growling. The others' stomachs answered for them, so they all started racing for the telephone which just so convientely popped into existence.

So the six Nobodys dialed up Domino's. When the nerdy-sounding boy answered and asked what kind of pizza they wanted, they all gasped. No! They hadn't decided! All was ruined!

"Uhhh...Pepperoni...?" Marluxia, who was handling the phone, said uneasily.

"Pepperoni? No, you loser! I want sausage!" Vexen snapped, hissing.

"Sausage? No! Vegetarian!" Larxene growled, "I'm trying to keep my girlish figure."

"Girlish?" Luxord snorted, before receiving a slap, "Ow..! I want...uh...Hawaiian."

"..What is Hawaii, anyways?" Xigbar asked, causing all of them to stop and think.

"Weeeeeeell...I think it's the American way of saying 'kawaii.' You know, that fangirl word.." Xaldin frowned, stroking his chin.

Marluxia flipped his hair back. "No way. It's a lost civilization of people, lost to the dreaded Mole people. They managed to give their last secret of cooking to St. Nick, who showed the world the wonders of pizza."

"Uh..hello..? Can I take your order already?" the kid asked, before coughing slightly. But, before Marluxia, or anyone else for that matter, could answer, someone disconnected the phone. They looked up, and they all screamed. Laxaeus, the crazy, was standing in front of them with a hockey mask and a chainsaw.

"I know we shouldn't have showed him all those Jason movies!" Vexen cried as they ran. The hunter becomes the hunted, as they say.

---------

"Sooooo tired...Legs...not...working..." Xigbar muttered, dragging himself to his bed like his fellow non-annoying Nobodys. They had run from Laxaeus-Jason for hours, until finally he remembered that he had dancing lessons.

"WAIIIT! Don't go in there!" Demyz shouted, flailing his arms around. He was holding three large black bags along with Axel, who was right behind the blonde.

Everyone in the hall stopped, their eyes twitching heavily. "What?" they all asked in unison. Saix, Roxas, and Zexion suddenly appeared out of nowhere, muttering something about Harry Potter.

Axel grinned, "I thank you all for waiting so long...HAPPY LAUNDRY DAY!" They both tossed the bags at the others. The bags were quickly opened, and everyone rejoiced. It was like Christmas! Those idiots didn't have their clothes anymore!

"See?" Axel said to Demyx, smirking, "I told you they'd love the sailorsuits!" Demyx scowled, tossing him 1000 yen, because munny just sucked.

The group finally got over their overwhelming joy, and actually took a look and their outfits. And that's when their perma-twitches came back. Instead of their normal black cloaks, they now had in their hands little Japanese schoolgirl outfits. School_girl _outfits. With the mini-skirts and everything. And while this didn't bother Zexion or Larxene, the others weren't nearly as pleased.

"This is the best Laundry Day every!" Demyx smiled, stretching his arms. But, before he could escape to him room and sitar, he was tackled along with Axel, and no one heard from the two for a month.

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**A/N:...Eeeeeh...That's day one. Just to let you know, I accept and appreciate suggestions, although don't feel bad if I don't like it, or just make it a small joke or something. Meh, don't really have anything else to say. Hope you enjoyed it!**


	3. Day 2: Name Day

_A/N:...Meh...It's chapter three! And time for a whole new day, isn't it? Wheeee, huh? Well, I'm slowly drifting away from KH(sad, huh?), but I shall try my hardest to finish this. Meh, Don't really have anything else to say. Name Day was originally going to be Day Three, but doing that would've pushed the chapter back about...oh, two weeks? Some summer vacation for me. But, I won't grumble to you about it._

_By the way, did you all thing the days are all in a row? Well, you're wrong! Really, they need a break, too._

**Disclaimer:...Do I have to repeat this?**

Thirteen Days, Thirteen Ways  
Day 2: **Name Day**

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Breakfast was like a holiday at Castle Oblivion. Especially on Sunday. On Sunday, Vexen cooked. And of course, Vexen was like a freakin' cooking god. Today, it was waffled. Blueberry waffles. 

And so the entire Organization, except Vexen, was sitting at the table they had stolen from a homeless bum, chanting the Nobody's name and banging on the table. Since Namine was a girl, she wasn't allowed to join them. And well...they didn't count Larxene as being female.

So, when Vexen finally entered with the food, everyone jumped on the table and started some Indian ritual dance. It wasn't too bad until Axel flung off his cloak and tackled Roxas to the ground.But after awhile, things started calming down. Because honestly, who can be annoying and stuff your face at the same time? Well, apparently the two idiots can. And although nothing was verbally spoken, the others ocassionally glanced in their direction and scowled. Even though it had been two weeks, Laundry Day burned brightly in everyone's mind.

"Hey.." Axel frowned, breaking the eerie silence, "What is everyone's real name?"

The ten Nobody's glared at him. The nerve! They had to wear sailor fuku for an entire week before Superior could get them new cloaks, and now he was trying to _speak_ to them?

"Mine Bra-" Xigbar started, before Demyx jumped on the table.

"I know!" he shouted, shoving waffles in Xaldin's face, "Axel and I should guess your original names!"

At this, Roxas, Marluxia, Zexion, and Larxene all stood up, teeth bared. Roxas and Zexion grabbed Axel and pinned him to the wall, while Marluxia and Larxene tackled Demyx to the ground.

"Don't you dare," they all hissed, before letting them go.

The breakfast ritual ended quickly enough, so everyone slowly departed. Saix and Zexion had a chick flick to watch, Luxord and Laxaeus had to play Pretty Pretty Princess, and the others had schedualed a Final Fantasy race. The first to beat FFX and FFX-2 without killing themselves wins. Simple, no? No. They were playing the _German_ version.

Soon, only Demyx and Axel were left behind, a very stupid thing to do. And if Saix wasn't slipping Roxas pixy sticks under the table, the blonde probably would've done something. But since he was too stoned to remember that he was male, he just followed the rest, planning on dancing along to the Final Fantasy X-2 opening.

"...Their real names, huh?" Demyx said slowly, a grin appearing on his face. Axel grinned back, before the two raced for the library.

--------------

Vexen stretched him arms, before rubbng his eyes. He was a whole 30 minutes ahead of Roxas in Final Fantasy X, so he could handle taking a break.

So he stood up, and wandered out of the room, only to be tackled to the ground by the two idiots.

"Oof! Get off me, you perverts!" he cried, but to no avail.

"No way, Neev," Demyx grinned, sitting on top of the blonde now.

"What the hell did you just call me?" he asked, growling. If this kept up, he wouldn't be in the lead anymore!

"Neev. It's your real name. Don't deny it," Axel beamed, 'tut-tutting' the scientist.

"Neev! Are you on crack! My real name's Eve-"

"Neev, I know your real name is freaky, but your mom gave it to you. And you love your mom. Who doesn't love their mom?" the musician said, frowning.

"My. Name. Isn't. Nee-" he started, before being knocked out randomly for an unexplainable reason.

"...Maybe Neev isn't his real name," the redhead muttered, sighing and standing up.

"What else would it be? Even? Pfft. I'm telling you, we guessed right on everything!"

So they both brushed off a bit of drool that Neev had put on them, and skipped down the hall.

----------------------------

Luxord giggled, "I have the crown! Now, I only need the ring and the bracelet!"

He quickly placed the 'golden' crown on his head, before smirking. Laxaeus was so losing.

"Y-you're cheating!" the one lacking facial hair accused, pointing at the other with his left index finger, which was gracing. a purple ring.

"Me? Cheat? But...I'm a pretty princess!" he gasped, fiing the plastic crown.

"Dorlu! Salea..u..." Demyx exclaimed, bursting into the closet. The two Nobodies widened their eyes, and shrieked like little girls.

"W-w-w-w-what do you want!" Laxaeus said, throwning the blue jewelry at him, "We haven't been supplying the Organization with 'sleeping' drugs, honest!"

"That was you! I mean...ahem..." Axel said, following Demyx, "We know your real names. Luxord, your real name is Dorlu..And Laxaeus...well, we can't pronounce your name. But it's...Salaeu..a..I think."

But, the two men weren't listening, as they were frantically digging to China. And they would. Superior said they could, and Superior only lied on Thursdays and bank holidays.  
So Demyx and Axel got bored of watching them, and decided to go find Saix and Zexion. Today...was awesome.

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_A/N: Okay, yes, I realize it is short, but...I say it can be. And I really want to thank my awesome friend Time for helping me come up with the 'real' names. Pfft, who needs to watch some stupid assembly for Student Body President when you can screw with fake people's lives! Anyways, I'll try to update fairly soon...Uh...but it would help if I got some motivation? And hey, it's still like 1000 words. So ha!_


	4. Day 4: Pirate Day

**A/N: Aaaah.! So long! Sorry, sorry! I've just been busy and really lazy! I'll try...I'll try! Anyways, my brain died on how to do name day, soooo...Ah, time skip! Rawr!**

Disclaimer: Eh, check the first chapter.

Kingdom Hearts: **Thirteen Days, Thirteen Way**  
Day Four: Pirate Day

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"Man, I could not sleep last night at all," the youngest Organization member moaned as he wabbled into breakfast that morning. Of course, no one really paid any attention to him, because this morning, Axel and Demyx were once again up to no good. Well...okay, this one wasn't as bad as the laundy incident, the 'real' name crap, or the trip to the zoo, but-

"Yo ho, yo ho! A pirate's life for me!" the two sang, having linked arms and dancing on the table, sloshing beer on everyone near them. Instead of the usual black garb, the idiots were dressed in odd clothing, including a red bandana, a hook hand, and a large gold earring.

"...Did I miss a game of truth-and-dare...again?" the young blonde asked slowly, joining everyone else in a group eyebrow raise.

"If you did, so did I..." Vexen said calmly, before coughing something about a late-night manicure party with Zexion and Superior.

"Of course not! Like I would allow something like that to go on in Caste Oblivion!" Marluxia huffed, puffing out his chest to prove just how important it is.

"Y'know, I was thinking...I don't like the name 'Castle Oblivion'. It's not like we hold massacres here every weekend," Luxord pointing out, stroking his goatee thoughtfully, "We should call it-"

"Argh Me Hearties Castle!" Demyx suddenly burst out, jumping on top of Marluxia, stealing his wallet. And, while Xigbar wasn't looking, Axel had swiped his eye-patch, forcing it onto his 'friend.'

"Help! Axel's touching me!" Roxas cried, flailing his arms around wildly, smacking Superior in the face just as he entered the room, causing all the other Nobodies to fall silent.

"You just hit...Superior.." Zexion said slowly, gaping.

"Ha ha! Roxas is gonna die! Die a horrible, painful death!" Larxene screeched, laughing evily and trying to do the MC Hammer dance. And, soon following Superior, came the fragile Namine, her sketchbook in hand.

"Good morning, every-...Am I interrupting something?" she asked softly, blinking. Her crush, Roxas, was in an...interesting pose with his best friend, Axel. And Superior was unconscious on the ground. Maybe..! Maybe he walked in on a dirty scene that everyone else was enjoying and he passed out!

"O-M-G! I HAVE to draw that!" she squealed, clutching the sketchpad tighter and racing down the hall.

"Draw...what...?" Vexen questioned slowly.

"Roxas is gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiie! Diiiiiiiiie!" the only female Organization member continued screeching, dancing around the room.

"Yeah!" Demyx said suddenly, "Roxas has to walk the plank!"

"Walk the what?!" everyone besides Superior, Axel, and Demyx burst out, twitching.

"The plank...Since we don't have any wood, we'll use Marluxia, well...because I seriously think he's gay," the musician said, "And so he'll lay down half-way off of a pool or whatever full of man-eating sharks! Then Roxas has to walk across Marluxia and jump in!"

"We don't have man-eating sharks!" Vexen complained.

"Or a pool!"

"Excuse, excuses!" Axel sighed, before shaking his head, "Fine..! Losers!! Axel huffed out, Roxas still stuck to him.

"So...Now what...?" Zexion asked, tilting his head innocently.

"SCRUB THE POOP DECK!" Demyx screeched, slapping Zexion, "And don't go cryin', baby!"

---

A sigh escaped the young girl's lips, and she clutched the sketchbook lovingly. Today was the best she had had ever since Demyx 'accidently' threw her in with the tigers. Now, she had yet another masterpiece of her beloved!

"Are you drawing gay stuff again, Namine?" Larxene asked, glancing over the fragile girl's shoulder, before sighing, "No, no! Wrong! Roxas' head should be back more, and his face should be something of painful pleasure."

"Are you serious?! But...I tried so hard!" Namine wailed, before shaking her head, "And now I have no more inspiritation to draw dirty pictures!"

"NAAAAAAMINE!" Axel screamed, bursting into the room with an unconcious Roxas, "I..I need you to draw something for me!"

"What is it...?" Namine asked innocently. Larxene just groaned and turned away.

---

"Xaldin...?" Xigbar whispered, almost yelping as something dug deeper into his back.

What, fag?" the other asked. Xigbar pouted. How mean! And he almost considered the creepy man a cuddle buddy!

"I don't think this is a good idea...I'm pretty sure he'll find us..." he whispered back.

"CAUGHT YOU!" Demyx beamed, throwing the closet door open, "My pirate senses found you!"

"AHHHH!!! SOMEBODY KILL US NOW!" they cried, gnawing at their own arms.

---

"Ugh...Where...am I...?" Roxas groaned softly, his eyes softly opening. He blinked after a moment, sitting up. He was in Namine's room. Well, at least he thought he was. Marluxia was the worst interior designer. Ever.

"Good afternoon, Roxas!" Axel grinned, crawling on top of Namine's gigantic crystal ball, licking it occasionally. This made Roxas twitch.

"What am I...?"

"Silly! We're in Namine's room! And you're...A PIRATE!" Axel squealed, licking the crystal ball again.

"W-what is that thing made out of...?" Roxas asked, before blinking, "And I'm not your fu-"  
"NO SAILOR MOUTH!" Axel shouted, throwing his chakrams, "RAWR!"

"A-axel...?" Namine asked, peeking her head inside, "I...I got what you wanted..."

---

"Z-Zexion...it's only us now..." Marluxia breathed, eyes darting around the room nervously, "Everyone else...They've...they've...OH ZEXY! SAVE ME!!"

"Shut up!" Zexion growled, "Saix is right over there!" The scarred man blinked, before waving happily at the two of them. This only made Marluxia twitch more.

"NO! No!! Haven't you heard the rumors?!"

"What rumors?" Zexion and Saix chimmed at the same time.

"That...SAIX IS GAY FOR SUPERIOR!" the pansy declared, twirling. There was a silence.

"Are you stupid? Saix isn't-" Zexion started, before something grabbed him. Marluxia twisted around, and his eyes grew to the size of Namine's crystal ball. Saix was there, in his 'beserk' mode, tearing apart Zexion limb from limb. Marluxia whimpered, and inched towards the door.

"Deeeemyx...You could come any time...Any time is fine with me.." he said softly.

---

"It's...it's..." Axel said, tears coming to his eyes as he looked at the glorious sight in front of him.

"Stupid," Larxene and Roxas sighed, shaking their heads.

"Silence! Roxas, you're the second mate, and Larxene...You're the...the STOWAWAY! Because every good pirate ship has a stowaway!"

"What about me?" Namine asked hopefully, her eyes twinkling.

"Huh...? Who are you again?" Axel asked.

"Axel! Are you ready to take off?" Demyx shouted, rushing outside. Axel nodded proudly, grinning.

"Then let's get going!!!!" the musician cried, grabbing Namine and Larxene and dragging them onto the ship that Namine had dreamt up. Axel and Roxas just stood there, wondering why Demyx was in such a hurry. Suddenly, a giant lizard thing burst through the roof of Castle Oblivion, rawring and biting things.

"Oh my god!!!" Roxas gasped, "It's Godzilla!!"

"Ooooor Saix.." Demyx muttered.

Axel grabbed Roxas, and dragged him onto the boat. And, before anything else could be said, the ship slowly sailed away. The five looked as their precious-well, hated castle was destroyed, saluting to the wonde-creepy men they had lost.

"You will be missed," Demyx sniffed, "Now...ROXAS HAS TO WALK THE PLANK!!"

---

"Ugh...Man, what happened..?" Superior moaned, sitting up and rubbing his head. He frowned, noticing something was different. it was chillier than usual. He looked up, and twitched, seeing the roof destroyed.

"AXEL! DEMYX!" he bellowed, jumping to his feet, "When I get ahold of you two-!!"

Suddenly, the door, or what remained of it, opened, and Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Marluxia, and Luxord all came out, sobbing. They immediately clung to the older Nobody, crying their non-existant hearts out.

"It was soooo scary!" Vexen wailed.

"Demyx tried to dress us up as pirates!" Xaldin whimpered.

"Then I suggested Saix was gay for you!" Marluxia sobbed.

"And then Saix went beserk!" Lexaeus pouted.

"And destroyed Castle Oblivion!" Luxord whinned.

"And...? What about Axel and Demyx?" Superior asked, raising a bushy eyebrow.

"They sailed away on a pirate ship!" all of them cried. Superior sighed, and fell back. It would take the rest of the day to fix this mess. But, it was all in a day's work with Demyx and Axel as your minions.

---

"So where are we now, genius?" Larxene scoffed, raising an eyebrow as she looked around. This place was disgusting.

"Uuh...Pirateland?" Demyx suggested, shrugging.

"Great! We're lost, hungry, and I'm stuck with you idiots!" Roxas growled, throwing up his hands in frustration.

"Y-you think I'm an idiot...?" Namine sniffled, before wailing and running into the captain's quarters, which Larxene, Namine, and Roxas had taken over. Demyx and Axel slept on the poop deck. Which was good, because it helped them investigate why they found no poop on the poop deck.

"Look! Natives! They'll surely help us!" Axel cried, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hehehehehehehehehehehe! Welcome!" a giant purple dinosaur giggled, "Welcome! I'm Barney!"

All of them screamed.

* * *

A/N: -Sigh- There it is! 


	5. A Joyous Reunion?

**A/N: Ah, not quite a long of wait, eh? Eh, I don't think any of my ideas of how this is going to go are going as planned. So, let's just let it swing, eh?**

* * *

"Something wrong, Marluxia?" Vexen asked, strolling up to the 13th floor of Castle Oblivion. It had been two weeks. Two wonderful weeks without the idiots, Roxas, Namine, and Larxene. Life, even his non-existant one, had never been better. Life had been so good, in fact, that finally many of the other Organization members went back to the decent castle! Now it was only him, Marluxia, Lexaeus, and the grave of Zexion.

"Actually, I need your help."

"With?"

"I need help protecting my castle!!!" Marluxia dispaired, "I had a vision last night!"

"Vision..? Of...?" the blonde question, raising an eyebrow.

"Axel!!!! And Demyx!!!" Marly wailed, clutching Vexen's cloak and looking around with wide eyes, "I can feel it... They're coming back."

"Well, we do need Namine," Vexen shrugged, "For the Keyblade Master."

"Good thing Axel's not here," Zexion sighed, walking into the room, "He has a thing for little boys." At the freak's appearance, the two men screamed.

"You're back from the dead?!?!?" they screeched, holding each other like lovers.

Zexion frowned, before looking down at himself, and looking behind him. "I am? Oh well, anyways, we should count our blessings. We might actually suceed. What are our plans?"

"MUTINY!!" Marluxia suddenly yelled, "I wanna lead our Orgy!!"

The other two twitched. Oh great. Marluxia really was gay.

-xii-

Xaldin sniffled, looking at himself in the mirror. It was hard being the ugliest member of the Organization. He didn't have a fan club like everyone else. How unfair!

"UGLY!" Xigbar yelled, bursting into the room, "Hey, ugly, we're going to the beach. You coming?"

"If I'm so ugly, then why are you asking me?!" Xaldin asked hotly, scowling.

"...Okay. See you!" the 'surfer' shrugged, turning and walking away.

"Wa-aaaait!" the ugly one yelled, chasing after the other.

-xii-

"Alright. So you guys wanted to come to the beach. Fine," Saix sighed, "But why am I here? Better yet, why is Superior here?"

"He lost a bet, and so did you," Luxord shrugged, before grinning. Oh how he loved his new swim shorts. Made entirely of Aztec gold coins. Delicious.

"Besides, you know you're thankful," Xigbar said, almost grinning.

"And why is that?"

"Oh, come off it!" Xaldin said, rolling his eyes, "We all know you like Superior!"

And soon, Luxord, Xaldin, and Xigbar were running for their lives, a beserk-mode Saix chasing after them.

-xii-

Superior grinned,splashing around in the waves. Oh, to be free like a dolphin! He sighed, like a fangirl does when she reads a fanfiction with her favorite homosexual couple, and glanced out into the ocean, watching a dolphin.

"Be free, little dolphin! Be free!" he called, sighing again. It was a perfect afternoon. So relaxing. Unfortunately, just as he said that, an orca came up to the surface and swallowed the dolphin whole. Superior whimpered.

He was just about to go find the others, when something caught his eye. Something was drifting out in the ocean. Like a dying dolphin! He had to save it! And so, calling on the useless powers he stole from Gooseman, he summoned a gaggle of geese to bring the poor animal ashore.

"Oh, you poor-" he said, before freezing. A twitch formed. "Please no. Oh God, kill me now!!"

"Uhhhg..." Demyx moaned, before blinking and sitting up, "Hey...I'm alive!! Thanks, Mansex!"

Superior didn't hear him, however, as he was too busy trying to call the orca to swallow him up as well.

-xii-

"Wait. You're trying to tell me you found the Keyblade Master's girl?" Marluxia asked, raising an eyebrow. Demyx was being interrogated in Superior's office, surrounded by everyone. Well, everyone except Axel, Roxas, Namine, and Larxene.

"Yeah," he shrugged, "While we were sailing away from Barney, we found this little island. Destiny Islands, actually. There were a couple of them. And soon we found that Kairi girl."

"What happened next?" Vexen asked, trying to sound like he wasn't interested.

"Larxene went crazy and stabbed a coconut tree. We left her behind, and kidnapped this whiny brat, Tidus."

"Why did you kidnap him?" Xaldin asked, sighing.

"Because we're pirates, DUH!" Demyx frowned, "Anyways, we got shipwrecked. Dunno what happened to everyone else, tho'."

There was silence, before everyone started cheering. Axel was gone! Gone! Now all they had to do was assassinate Demyx in his sleep. But, before anything else was said, four of those dark portal thingies appeared, and Axel, Roxas, Namine, and Larxene stepped out of them, wringing out their clothing.

"We're back!" Axel grinned.

Everyone except Demyx screamed.

* * *

A/N: Ta-da! 


End file.
